Apparently, I live under a rock.
Which is a declaration from one of my kids that makes me snort with laughter, because although from his perspective, yes, I am not as ‘hip and with it’ as a sixteen-year-old immersed in the ever-changing kaleidoscope of pop culture, but seriously, buddy, look around. We actually live on top of a rock. In the Blue Ridge Mountains.
He doesn’t appreciate the irony.
I’m typically not one for labels, so when I receive my weekly life assessment from my son it’s pretty easy to shake off. But when Seth Godin, one of my great-brained literary and entrepreneurial heroes tells me I’m a laggard … I sit up and take notice.
And then I cry a little.
Because he’s brought graphs to prove it.
And pictures never lie.
According to Seth, whenever something new is unleashed from the great minds of opportunistic impresarios, and we are all launched into the next great race of Don’t Be Left Behind!, there exists a graph that needs to be understood if you’re hoping to make a shift in cultural behavior. The graph illustrates a picture that reveals how the population is divided.
It’s called the INNOVATION ADOPTION LIFECYCLE.
I call it: Nature’s Crowd Control.
Folks are divided up into factions that label how quick they are to get on board with new concepts, new technologies, new devices or new celebrity baby names that could only have been dreamed up by taking the online quiz to determine your ideal prostitute moniker and blending it with a piece of fruit found strictly in South American street markets.
The factions are as follows:
Innovators
Early Adopters
Early Majority
Late Majority
And LAGGARDS
When I read this, I straightened up and shouted, “NOW HOLD ON A MINUTE!”
And then I quickly apologized to the cashier who had snatched back the jumbo package of toilet paper that probably took out a forest equaling half the trees in one of our country’s smaller national parks to create. I had been looking at the graph on my smartphone while grocery shopping and reassured him that yes, I really did want all that toilet paper, and then took note of all the people around me who now suspected I had some sort of minor colonic affliction.
Once I got safely home, I pulled out my favorite book of all time—my Thesaurus—which, like The Bible, The TV Guide, and The World Atlas of Whisky—all books of paramount significance—should be capitalized.
I looked up laggard. I was not impressed with the alternatives. I am not a dawdler, or a loafer, or a slowpoke. I am not a slacker, or a sofa spud,
or a navel gazer—except when specifically cleaning that important and oft-ignored body part.
As this beautiful bell-curve was specifically created in 1957 and applied to agriculture and home economics of the time, and was used to track the “purchase patterns of hybrid seed corn by farmers,” the definition of the term laggard meant: very conservative, had small farms and capital, and were the oldest and least educated of the populace.
But I would not consider myself very conservative. In fact, I can recall a time, years ago when I actually considered having a third child—and not just because of the tax deduction.
Yes, maybe the small farm thing would stick and likely the bit about not much capital too—but surely that’s about to change because we all know how it’s typical for unknown children’s author’s income brackets to shoot right through the roof after they’re published.
But oldest—nuh uh. And least educated? Nope. I’ve got me some learnin. And as long as I keep up a steady stream diet of news feed from The Drudge Report and The Onion I should be golden on most international issues of import.
Now just to quiet the shouting in the background that’s coming from the balcony containing my teenagers and all of mankind’s teenagers who believe their parents are still dressing in high-waisted culottes and are on the verge of no longer sleeping with their teeth, I figure it’s only fair to look at the chart through their un-cataracted eyes.
It’s true that I am not the person who “comes up” with the shiny brand new inventions. I’ve not worked at a start-up, I don’t have a lab in my garage and I’ve yet to start a movement. So innovator is not a term applicable to me.
It’s also true that I’m not the first to stand in line all night waiting for the release of something that may or may not work, might be massively overpriced, and will likely be remembered in a pop culture montage at the end of the year in a reel entitled AND THE BIGGEST WASTES OF SPACE THIS YEAR WERE …
Yep. Not my style.
I also hate to be a crowd follower. If all of the Kardashians own one in every color it comes in, cross my name off the customer list.
Which brings us to the ‘late majority’ category. This is where I usually get caught. I reason with myself relentlessly. Something might prove to be a good idea—after a great deal of trial and error and three review cycles in Consumer Reports—but then I get whiff of the new contraption coming down the pike. If I buy it now, I’ll have something outdated within minutes, but waiting another month for the replacement means I’m now proudly sporting the unwanted badge of ‘I got it first.’
So this slides me back into the category of laggard. Or worse–I never board the bus.
So I’m left with this degrading classification reserved for folks who spend a good chunk of their day talking about how their latest operations panned out.
But you know what? I’m fine with it. I am who I am. A little behind the times, but careful and diligent. And I certainly don’t have time to worry about what a bunch of teenagers think of my speed of progress. I’ll get there.
First I have to head out to the garden and get the soil ready for my big corn crop this year. I just finished thumbing through a catalog and purchasing a bucketload of super seeds through this new company I discovered called Monsanto.
~Shelley
*ROBIN GOTT’s NEW POST* (click)
Don’t forget to check out what we’re cookin’ in the Scullery and what we all talked about down in the pub. Plus, you can see more of Robin Gott‘s humor–all from the only pen carved from a human funny bone.
Shelley Sackier 
I fear I’m right on board with you, Shelley…I also get my weekly (or is that daily?) life (or lack thereof) assessment from the teen. How depressing to realize I’m now even more outdated than an iPod. But you know what I think? Long live the laggards! Stick to your guns! Be proud! And remember the old saying,……”Last is Best!” Right?
Rob’s drawings OTT this week….dearly loved your term and his drawing of the navel gazer and the rocks were darling! Innovative Laggard girl made me laugh out loud.
Long live the laggards. We shall outlive you all by sheer force of our lack of enthusiasm!
😛
Ah, Shelley, we’re in the same place. The thing is, the folks designing the graphs want consumers to spend money. Hmmm. And that’s just what I don’t want to do on something that will have a dropping price and the bugs worked out sometime down the road. But I still feel uncool once in a while. It’s just I don’t care enough to try to catch up. Culottes are back, by the way, looking like voluminous walking shorts…I didn’t notice the waist line…
You’re not alone. I’m often a laggard too. In fact, I’m often so lost in my own world, I don’t think I’m anywhere on the graph! I’m just floating around the periphery. 😉
I think those folks would be “observant surveyors.” We’ll put an asterisk on the graph for you, Carrie.
😀
Oh good. You’re the best. 🙂
I love my high waist culottes. 😉
Amen. Empire waistline for all clothes gets two thumbs up from me.
I love your writing Shelley, you’re a real hoot. You’ve a fantastic sense of humour and one just as big of irony too.
xxx Massive Hugs xxx
ps. I hear amazing things about your new seed firm……..
David, your words are such a bolstering shot in the arm (and a squishy warm hug for the heart).
Thank you, thank you.
xoxo
I can still remember a few years ago when my 19 year old daughter said something to the effect of how uncool I was, and my best friend (which is why she is my best friend) said “Gosh, and here we’ve been thinking how cool we are at our age”. If only she hadn’t had to add those last three words…true though it may be. I’m still the person she consults for IT problems, so I’m clinging to that small triumph for all I’m worth! It seems the older she gets, the cooler I’m getting again. xxx
It is a blindingly fast world of technology, Ardys, so I tip my hat off to you for staying on top of it. According to my kids, there’s a pretty exciting realm out there of ‘life after dial up.’
We’ll see.
😛
Laggards? I think not, I prefer ‘intelligent people who stand back and let all those so called ‘innovators’ trial the new doohickeys and iron all the bugs out.’ How did Rob get hold of a photo of my culottes to sketch?
Cheergerm, you a perfect example of what makes this community of commenters so warm and wonderful–it’s all the bolstering and shoring up of like-minded folks. Outliers UNITE!
I am very happy with who I am (even though I am in your category of laggard), and I feel sad for all those non-laggards. Those are the people who not have a mind of their own. Those are the folk who follow fashions regardless of whether they make any sense (I dress for comfort). Those are the folk who spend money (or worse borrow it) just so that they can have the latest gizmos (I am financially cautious and have no debt load). Those are the folk who are so insecure that they are dependent on peer approval (I like people to like me also but if they don’t …. that’s fine). Yes, by your example of laggard, I am one and rather proud of the fact. Laggards rule (actually they usually do!). 🙂
With such a confident declaration of your position, I hereby nominate you, Colin, as the president of the Punctilious Society of Laggards.
I do think we should have some sort of a club.
You take roll call and I’ll bring the snacks.
We don’t need a roll call (being laggards) ……….. just snacks! 🙂
You’re right, Colin. I suppose we’ll get there when we get there. 😛
Right! And if we don’t get there then, we’ll certainly get there later. It’s really not that complicated is it?
Sometimes it is good to be a laggard. This way, you can let all the others make the mistakes,a nd then stomp all over them… Ha! to Seth Godin! He has never been my favourite thinker anyway. Still, he powers ahead, so more power to him..
Yes, Rajiv, I don’t think Seth is everyone’s cup of tea, and as I could never put him in the category of laggard, I imagine he gets a fair amount of stomping on.
I suppose there’s a place for all of us on the pie graph.
There is.. We are all just part of the pie on the wall, with due apologies to Pink Floyd
(Surely they’d forgive you for your momentary lapse of reason.)
Wow! Wish you were here.
Hi Shelley,
My daughters categorised me as “Lame” so long ago that I now wear that badge with pride.
Clare
Clare, I think there should be a revote in your house. I cannot imagine that your daughters can see you right now as anything other than adventurous and intrepid. You are so not a laggard.
🙂
That’s it Shelley! I’m sending them your message and demanding a recount 🙂 but not before I polish my badge up a little.
Laggards unite! Makes me glad I haven’t got kids to ‘classify me’, though my nephews and nieces (all generations if they’ve ever actually met me) think of me as simply the Double O (Old and Odd).
Do I care? Not at all. I’m no James Bond, but 00 stands for something doesn’t it? 😀
The Double O! I love it!
That is a fabulous handle, P. Although, your blog title is a bit of a dead giveaway as far as the inner workings of your mind. Even so, I’d say you and your husband are two of the most innovative folks I’ve come to read about in blogland. So creative and wonderfully clever. I say we retag the Double O to mean “On deck and On the ball!”
I like that! Thank you. 😀
HI Shelley, personally I’d rather be at the pointy end of that kind of graph and if I can’t think of anything innovative to do then I’ll just have to be a laggard. Sad thing to me about life for teenagers today is the overwhelming pressure to belong to the big blob of a herd in the middle, following the latest this and that. Since when did it become cool to be a sheep? 🙂
Oh, Jane, these are perfect words.
I just read them twice for good effect.
❤
PS Speaking of laggards I think your new photo is very pretty indeed but I think it’ll take me ages to get used to not seeing Haggis next to your blog title – hope he wasn’t too put out! 🙂
I was forced to switch it out. He was asking for further royalties on his likeness.
Apparently, one jar of peanut butter a week wasn’t cutting it.
I can see the dilemma – with Freddie it’s the cherries at the moment, he’ll snuffle about for his own but much prefers them picked from the tree by me 😦 Have to say enough is enough at some point
So what’s wrong with being a laggard? A laggard is one who is thoughtful. Someone that likes to analyze before commitment. Since when is waiting to see if a thing pans out before buying into it a bad thing. R
Well evidently I inadvertently posted pre-maturely. That was not my intention. I merely wanted to remind you of the tortoise and hare. Were it not for laggards there would be attics and garages full of beta machines. No ma’am. I say that the true champions of technological innovation are the laggards. I mean do we really want a country full of Kardashians? I think not. So revel in your laggardness. You aren’t alone.
A country full of Kardashians? *shiver*
I am a big fan of turtles. Always getting out of my car to help them across the street. Slow and steady wins the race.
And I’m going to not only revel in my laggardness as you wisely advise, but I’m going to celebrate that new word in my lexicon, Benson. I rather like the idea of being at the pointy end of the pack when it comes to new expressions.
Delicious, delightful and very droll. Thank you, Shelley, for making my dull Sunday brighter.
Your lovely comment, Sarah, just spread a little sunshine in my corner of the world too. 😉
You flatterer, you! 😀
‘Never be the first to buy any new technology – wait until the bugs have been ironed out and the price has dropped from prototype levels.’
I was given that piece of advice by someone who had been at the cutting edge of developing the digital telephone system in the UK, so he knew what he was talking about. Besides, I like to make things last a long time. I’m not going to get rid of a perfectly good fridge freezer just because they’re now selling ones that remind me when to buy milk, or whatever the new tech might be this week. Remembering to buy milk is not something I find difficult, in any case.
On the other hand, while that may well put me in the laggard category I do love new technology, and if it comes free then I’ll give it a go. So social media gets a big thumbs up from me and it’s great. Partly because you can sign up fore free, and partly because I get to meet and talk to awesome people hundreds, if not thousands of miles away that I would never come across otherwise. I don’t live under or on top of a rock, but when we moved here my sister saw the house and said, ‘But you live in a field!’ Yup, my nearest neighbours are often sheep or cows, or fields quietly growing hay. Not exactly the centre of civilisation so as an extrovert I find social media essential to my mental health. At least, that’s what I tell myself when I look at my tweet count. :-O
Oops, I’ve rambled on a bit – I’ve just looked back and seen those high-waisted culottes again. I guess you’d better put me down for a few pairs of those. Loved the blog, not so sure I like this Seth person though. After all, organophosphates haven’t turned out so good in some ways. I did particularly like Mr Sofa Spud. Are we going to see any more of Mr Potato head, Rob? Every time I see him now I think if Ian Dury. 🙂
Well, there’s a “reason to be cheerful” 🙂
Absolutely – waiting for Part 3 eagerly. 🙂
Lovely laggard living, Laura. The fields, the farm animals and friendly foreign folks all contained in a box within reach when you want them. That is a perfect pastoral life I adore.
And as far as Mr. G goes, feel free to check him out. He’s pithy and clever. A tiny dose of ‘vitamin think’ I take each day. http://www.sethgodin.com/sg/
It’s a great life, I have to admit. I still love the peace and quiet, and not living cheek by jowl with dozens of others as we did in London where you’d have to really like the neighbour’s choice of music they played it so loudly. I shall check out your Mr G, but he’s going to have to work hard to get rid of the black mark he’s been given due to that laggard remark! 😉
Do let me know what you think. I’m so curious.
I did have a quick look at his wiki page, and so far so good. I like the idea of advertising by permission. 🙂
Good morning Shelley,
I admire, and, well… guess seem to mirror your (near) ethology; that being, as we are of animal form, right? Sort of the fight or flight thought? I too hold back the “hour of need” to be hip with the immediate nuances, newbies, yada yada…
The thought of being the first to have, purchase or grasp what is new (unless created by either my children’s or my own hands), is no longer relevant, nor desired. Your ideology is rather comforting and helpful to know that we don’t always have to be the first to have, hold or know. Faire moins, faire plus. You know that quote…I know Mrs. Suzuki does.
Much love, respect and hugs, as always,
Stoshu
Looking back, I don’t think I ever possessed that need to be first–unless it was in line for food.
That field I will never be labeled a laggard in.
😉
The graph that means the most to me is the autograph. I try to ignore all others. Great post.
Thanks, John. Although I will deny the accusation of my goofy kids when they suggest I still live in the era of phonographs and telegraphs, the most important graph to me would be the paragraph.
😉
I like it.
With how fast new social media, technology and fads rise and fall, there’s something to be said for watching the go-getters jump on new things first–and see how it goes for them. New software is inevitably filled with bugs that need to be ironed out, new technology must fix or increase privacy protection, and does anyone even remember Diaspora or ello anymore? Let someone else dive head first into an empty swimming pool, I say. I’ll watch from the side and decide for myself if it’s for me, after the fact.
Okay, NJ, nope, I’ve never heard of either. And now I’m feeling a teensy bit further out of the loop.
And I agree with the mindset of filtering out the large population of bugs before jumping in with new technology, but you also point out another great point regarding privacy protection. It seems so unfair and hugely frustrating for both innovators and consumers that there exists this body of people who are determined to wrinkle the smooth path of advancement. When I stop to think about it, I do wonder just how far ahead our world would be from where we are right now, if we didn’t have to spend so much time and so many resources fixing problems others are purposefully creating. They don’t even show up on the graph, but they should be–and likely labeled as ‘agitators.’
‘Agitators’ is a great word for them. I can’t even imagine where we’d be as a species if we all had an egalitarian mindset, instead of a self-interested one. Probably on Mars.
I really do like taking a cautious attitude to new technologies. Companies themselves have given me more than enough reason to be suspicious when they ‘offer me’ and exciting new ‘deal’ on a brand new product. Wow, they are just so interested in how happy I am! Except I know that deep down it’s all about the dollars and I’m nobody to them. 😛
If you can’t program a new game in Java PHP with a blindfold, or plow new fields of app-dim, you might as well hang it up. But — the concept of laggardliness is rooted (you got me going on farming metaphors) in the idea that humans are headed on an evolutionary trajectory toward better and better things. You have it right though, with “I am what I am.” No matter how quickly our teens adopt and discard new fads, we are what we are, still in need of toilet paper, and food, which at least sometime in its history, was associated with dirt, i.e. the most important things in terms of our actual survival, haven’t changed a whit. How do you manage to say that and still be funny? We want photos of your monster corn.
JB, you have me smiling ear to ear. Oh, look. Another farm metaphor. 😀
Great post Shelly!… Thought-provoking!!! 💜🌸😉😘🌺❤
Innovation adoption Lifecycle AKA Nature’s Crowd Control seems like a strategic tool to control crowds…
A laggard would be so according to the ideal , thus probably unattainable type…. meaning the Innovators type…
I tend to think that the Early Adopters and The Early Majority would be those in charge to say if you live or not under the rock… As they are probably struggling to get on top of the rock… Aiming to be like the innovators … Albeit you can’t be one of them unless your merits, social class or cool style of life determined so…
It is all a matter of Acquired place in the social pyramid and specifically when it comes to behaviours… it is related to what we would define as socially expected or desired… In terms of social patterns, of course
I don’t know if it makes much sense to copy Innovations, I’d rather create my own stuff, instead… So I guess you are lucky to live under the rock when you actually live on top of a rock. In the Blue Ridge Mountains.
Thanks for sharing!~ Sending you all my best wishes!. Aquileana 😀
I agree with your assessment of originality, Aquileana–I think for a rich and expressive life, creativity is a godsend (and I think you’d know more about this than the Average Joe. 😉 )
Thanks for reading and also for sharing your lovely thoughts. Here’s to a wealth of imagination and innovation. May it show up in spades!
Shelley, I say you have the makings of a successful baby name application springing from the depths of your innovative mind. So I think you are doing just fine! I wouldn’t call myself an early adopter of anything, since I prefer to have other folks do all the bug-hunting first. Isn’t that what exploring is all about? Waiting for the first few waves of pioneers to get eaten and helpfully point out by example all the places that are hazardous? 🙂
Rob, I especially liked the navel-gazing going on this week!
Huh, I wonder if I should patent that app, Sue?
And I love your wisdom about letting the appetizer pioneers be at the frontline. You make a brilliant point. From a safe distance.
As my grandfather has always been so fond of saying, ‘the early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” I’m not quite sure what it says about me, but I’ve always found this to be both an amusing and remarkably true take on life. I’ll eventually jump on board if and when I have to, but it can be exhausting trying to keep up! Safer to let the others clear out all the bugs first anyway 🙂 Interesting to know there’s actually a classification system!
Your grandfather sounds like a learned man–and those are usually good folks to follow closely behind. Or maybe two or three steps behind in case the poor fellow ends up being the first mouse. 😉
just last nite, watchin’ iron-man, Fe-man hisself asked: “what was it that happened to the first mouse again?”
I liked your response to Cheergerm saying Outliers Unite! I prefer to think of myself as an outlier rather than a laggard. There’s a world of difference between the two … just don’t ask me to defend that position because it would require me to be innovative 😉
Hehehe! Joanne, that’s such a giggle.
And I get the brain exhaustion bit. Some days it requires Herculean strength just to formulate the words good morning without adding on to it the task of being clever enough to carry on any further conversation. I think most days ‘good mornin’ should suffice until noon when some of my more creative juices get flowing. (Thank you, Mr. Coffee Pot)
Your morning kitchen table sounds like mine. I don’t have very many words to share until after my coffee 🙂
I’m late to this laggard party Shelley, which makes me what? A super-laggard? My only complaint about the crowd is it took as long to read [and enjoy] all the comments as it took to read [and enjoy] your post. Back in the dark ages when I had those things now called pre-teens they wouldn’t even walk down the street with me due to my propensity to break into song or a small dance if the feeling took me [just to add to their humiliation at having to be seen in public with their mama you understand]. Now they take my arm and canoodle as we go along [I’m sure it’s more to stop me falling over than curtail my breaking into a song and dance routine any more]. My point being that it doesn’t matter what they think of you at sixteen. The day dawns rather joyfully for us parents when our slightly more mature children look at those mid teens on the street with a curl of disdain to their lips and announce what dip-sticks they are to the world at large …… All of which has nothing to do with your learned post or Mr G. xoxo
A super-laggard? YOU, Pauline? Never ever.
And I adore the visual of you starting up a little soft-shoe routine on the street when the mood strikes. I adore even more your use of the word canoodle. A much-underappreciated term and one handled perfectly by your deft and skilled hand.
Your kids should be in awe of you. ❤
I guess Seth would call me a lagger, or maybe not on the graph at all. Although I protested the Vietnam War, it was because I thought ridiculous to fight another country’s war for them, and in the process get many of our young adults killed. I didn’t do it to fit in. Yes, I don’t wear outlandish clothes, and instead, wear what I see others wear. But this is so I don’t have to talk much in public. I’m just not one of those people who will ever try to keep up with the Jones.
Glynis, you’ve given me pause for thought. I think, if possible, I will do my utmost to wear outlandish clothing and STILL refuse to speak to others in public. It may just be wonderful to be an antisocial eccentric laggard. A trendsetting recluse with a cagey appraisal.
Yeah, that sounds like something I’d want to shoot for.
I have a whole new appreciation for laggards!
And by the way, have I ever told you that reading your comment section is like hearing an Encore at a concert. so much fun!
You have such a way of making everyone’s comment sound as if it’s the best one you’ve read.
Pretty cool you are, Shelley.
Oh, Laurie, I wish I could tint these words with the color of a blush.
Thank you for your incredibly kind words. And in truth, every comment really is a gem to me. I love the fact that people have thoughts to share. It’s such a wonderful community.
AND YOU’RE PART OF IT! 😀
Agree with LB. New company called Monsanto. Nice, very nice.
Thanks, Greg. Always lovely to see your words.
Cheers!
I am a devoted member of the Church of Lag, which is a bit like the Church of the Subgenius. But I draw the line at culottes!
Well, then I guess I was just preaching to the choir, Linnet. And it doesn’t surprise me as I find us birds of a flock.
No culottes, eh? How bout a polyester housecoat shaped like a tent? I could so go for that.
A muumuu! The ultimate in comfort and “lag style.”
But I don’t go for culottes. Have you ever noticed how much men hate them?
Yes. I hardly ever see men wearing them anymore.
😛
Technology-wise I am definitely in the “laggard” category…still happily chatting and texting via a flip phone here. If it ain’t broke, I don’t want a new one (and that puts me in the minority).
Meanwhile I’ll keep hoping that the whole publication thing does rocket you into a new stratosphere of income. It could happen! Like people always say, “Just write the next Harry Potter!”
Ha! Okay, Abby, in keeping with the wisdom and advice of ‘like people always say’ From your lips to God’s ears!
😛
My dirty little secret is that despite working in the technology field for 20 years, 10 of which were with THE software behemoth with a certain Bill and a certain Steve at the helm, I am a …laggard.
Oh the shame!
Somehow I’ve managed to mask this in my professional life. Shh…don’t tell anyone, m’kay?
p.s. I feel deeply and cosmically connected to you today Shelley, as my own post from today includes a quote from Seth Godin. *shivers*
Nancy, I sucked in so much air I nearly choked on the plaster that came off the wall.
Wow. And okay. You’re secret’s safe with me.
Plus … same brain, different body. Go, Seth fans!
God, I adore you.
not as per yooz yoo uhl: (but (posterior)) i’m gonna post hear phurst (then see if others have already sedditt):
like you said: hay weight uh minnut! don’t they sub-classify laggards? like yourself, i don’t feel like i’m an ORDINARY laggard (but that all too easily could be veryvery true). worse/better yet: shouldn’t there be yet ANOTHER CATEGORY EVEN MORE LAGGARDLY THAN THE MERE LAGGARD? let’s come up with something a bit more profound-sounding than “not even as quick as a sloth and not anywhere near the presence of mind of a horseshoe crab”
Are you kidding, Jay? I think your definition cannot be outdone. It screams of lethargic complacency.
and in my lethargy, i can’t even muster up any semblance of complacency. it’s, uh, BEEE YAWNED “giving up” it is !
I would like to suggest the “Old Farmer’s Almanac” to your brief list of reading requirements. A very useful tome for those wishing to buy moderate packets of hybrid corn seeds.
That is a staple reading guide in all our bathrooms. The children believe it’s a load of bunk, but one of us needs to know which moon we’ll all plant and harvest by. Schedules are crucial.
I look forward to your posts every week, Shelley. They’re always thought-provoking and achingly funny. I nearly spit out my drink when I read about your new corn seeds. LOL LOL LOL
I live with two teenagers and a husband in high tech, so I’m not even going to pretend to make the list. The good folks need to add another category like sub-laggard or laggard minus. I’m in!
When you live with teenagers that know everything, sometimes a vacant stare will illicit contempt when all you are really doing is trying to remember if you bought cat litter this week. Sigh.
Rob, your illustrations really do tickle funny bones. Those high-waisted pants had me in giggles. They do hide a multitude of sins thought, so I shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss them. Love the hair flip, too. As for navel gazing, I just tried the pose and realize I need more yoga classes.
Alys, I think you’ve just given me a brilliant idea for a new post! It’s going to be something like The Top 10 Reasons For Most Vacant Stares. I’m killing myself with glee over the possibilities.
And as long as I can be assured of your company in the lower laggard league, we will keep one anther in stitches.
❤
Yes, yes, lower laggards rule! And I can’t wait to read your vacant stare post. Now I’m filled with glee at the possibility of your possibilities. xoxox
To quote Grouch Marx (what, again?):P “I would never join a club that would accept me as a member” Of course “belonging” is a big part of not becoming a laggard. Being a willing and active consumer is also part of today’s new culture.
Oh yes, I totally agree. I’ve read and heard a lot about the “disease” FOMO (fear of missing out) and how it’s driving our world and reshaping the landscape of how we live.
I do love Groucho Marx. Comic genius, oddly philosophical.
Cheers, Bumba!
Don’t feel too bad, Shelley. I have only been in Japan five years, and the way people talk and the stuff that is coming out over there is happening so fast that I don’t recognize half of it anymore. But, then again, I know who the Beatles are, the joy of roller skates, and what the dinos ate for dinner. 😉
Hahaha! I love the fact that we share about as much culturally updated knowledge as an earthworm.
But seriously, what can really beat out the joy of roller skates?
And I thought of you this week while listening to a great podcast from Ira Glass’s This American Life on NPR. It was all about Americans in China–the theme within each story being that no matter how long these folks had lived there and tried to culturally assimilate, they would always and forever be considered foreigners. That’s got to be frustrating.
Cheers, Alex!
Awww, I’m glad I was thought of. 🙂 Luckily for me, most of my Japanese friends feel I am -more- Japanese at heart than them, so I don’t really have that problem, haha. 😉
Weirdly, I am reading Amy Stewart’s book “The Earth Moved: On the Remarkable Achievements of Earthworms” right now! They are pretty fascinating creatures. 😀
I’m with you, Shelley! I LOVE my thesaurus AND my dictionary, and I actually looked up a few intriguing words from this post, thank you very much! 🙂 I am also, apparently, a laggard when it comes to technology. I have been dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century and, holy crap, we’ve been in this century for 15 years already – That’s a long time to be kicking and screaming! I held onto my flip phone until last summer when I FINALLY got an iPhone (It cost $1 with my plan – how could I say no?). We didn’t have a texting plan until last year, either. Now I love texting.
Nope, I’m not one to just jump in. Like you – I like to dip my toes in first. 🙂
It’s so funny, Jen, that after dipping your toe in, somehow you fall in head first and are able to scramble to the side and barely hang on to the edges. Technology is so wonderfully exciting, but also requires an extra terabyte of brain space–WHICH I DON’T HAVE AVAILABLE!
*sigh*
I will continue to cling to the edge of the pool and offer a hand out to anyone I see starting to sink.
We folks have got to stick together and buoy one another up!
😀
Absolutely! I’m right there with you, clinging to the edge. I’m still figuring out how this whole “blogosphere” works, but at least it’s a lot more fun and rewarding than some of my other experiences with technology! 🙂
In spite of sniggers from youths, I held onto my flip phone until it died recently. Now I have a new ‘smart’ phone and can’t figure out how to retrieve messages; calls I don’t intend to make however are dialed; photos of my feet mysteriously appear.
Lol! Aren’t “smart” phones great? I had to call my MOM to figure out how to get out of “silent” mode after I got my iPhone. And I somehow turned on some kind of flashlight(??) on Friday without my knowledge and walked around with a bright light shining through my pants pocket. I only discovered this when I went to the ladies’ room – God knows how long it was on…and why no one mentioned it!
And doesn’t it surprise and worry you how technology’s built-in expiration dates are getting increasingly closer to the date of purchase? You buy an expensive computer, it has a life expectancy of about 5 years. It’s no wonder this generation has decided not to go into the housing market. Perhaps they’re thinking that a house will have the same longevity as a phone.
Hm; my teen just said I was cool. Now I don’t know whether I should be more worried about me, or him! But then he was asking for bus money at the time, so maybe my research methodology isn’t all that valid 🙂
Ooh, them is buttering up words, Su. Although, someone on this earth is bound to break the rules where teenagers have been sworn never to reveal that they actually like their parents until they’ve reached their twenties. I’m thinking you may have won the lottery. Watch to see if he makes his bed tomorrow. 😛
Hehe. It was worth the bus money then. 🙂
Its all good for me – I rock a 2006 4runner with 6-disc changer; rock a Windows Phone because I have the same employment ailment as NancyTex; and have a watch that has no idea how i slept last night or how far I walked yesterday. Taking pride in being a technology laggard in my personal life and appreciating the lack of obligation… I am, however, getting my garden seeds from some folks that reject laboratory manipulation…
Dave
I’m thinking your life sounds pretty damn awesome, Dave. Especially those bits about growing something that won’t double as a disconcerting, creepy science experiment gone terribly wrong. 🙂